I have been struggling to write this for sometime, this and my misgendering piece. I was doing research for a this day in history article, notably the 8/23 birthday of Antonia Novello, the first woman and first Latinx to serve as Surgeon General of the United States when inspiration struck.
BTW, this is the first time I have used Latinx in writing. I googled and read an interesting article on Huffington Post about how Huff Post Latino Voices deals with the term.
So, I am cisgendered, I identify as a lesbian of African descent. My pronouns are she/her. I have a deep voice, for the last two years I wear ties daily. I am a blesbian (black lesbian) who wears ties. I do not identify as butch although many folks have put me in this category.
I am a mother of two teens, an ex-wife and a current partner to a wonderful woman.
I am often misgendered on the the phone, sometimes in person. It depends whether I correct someone.
Oh, I am a baby boomer and turned 60 on 4/3/2017.
So given this, how did I become a baby daddy?
I met the ‘baby’ 22 years old and it was truly love at first sight. I asked KC, aka the baby, an identity question and KC responded quite simply that KC identifies as KC.
Of course my favorite lyric from I Would Die 4 U by Prince came to mind: “I’m not your woman, I’m not your man, I am something that you’ll never understand . . .”
It was at that moment regardless of misgendering I was personally liberated to become a ‘daddy’ a term that I had eschewed vigorously in the past. KC needed a daddy, (KC actually calls me dad) and apparently I could be there for KC.
Thank you KC for your strength, courage, and wisdom. I love you.
And a special shout out to my baby mama, and KC’s mother, Shannon. We are family and will continue to grow in love.
I relish my role as a ‘baby daddy’ and non-binary gender dynamics. I was born Elizabeth Ann Thompson and changed my name to Akilah Monifa when I was in my early 20s. Kiki is a nickname I have had since my goddaughter had trouble pronouncing my name and now it’s my mononymous byline and more. Holla.
Love, peace, joy, gratitude, faith, courage, compassion, and blessings.