I Am Not A Pervert. I Am God’s Own! A Response to Rev. Burell

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by Paul L. Grace-Neal

Kim Burrell has got the church jacked up!  That portion of the video she released on WORLD WIDE SOCIAL MEDIA has caused an uproar during a time when the Church should come together.

Just a few months ago (November), the nation was in an uproar when the people did not select our next nation’s leader. Rather, on two occasions, a small… minute microcosm of our nation decided they knew what was best for us and that we were incapable of speaking up for ourselves.

After the results of that demonic occasion emerged, the hate escalated.  Riots ensued and the Divided States of America was founded.

Lately, the Church has emulated that culture.  Many have struggled and often killed themselves over the dis-chord of accepting one’s sexual or gender When I came out as a lesbian, I struggled Spiritually to love me as God loved me as God’s own and accept that I was still good in God’s sight.   I grew to understand and appreciate the assurance that there was still room at God’s Heavenly banquet for me.

My coming out process as a Trans* man was more difficult.  I grappled with many of the questions some asked and felt more like a “sinner” because I was calling God a liar. Initially, I thought God made a mistake when God created me.  I felt like defective merchandise in a department store.  But how would I return me?  Would my birth certificate be my receipt?

With all the HELL I went through to love and appreciate me, I will not dare to have another send me to hell.  My current church is an open and affirming church to all.  We teach love of self and others regardless.  We do not impose a moral code of sin upon others.  Our focus is on holistic healing.  Healing of body, mind, emotions, and Spirit is priority over a to-do list which excludes homosexuality (or any other -ality).

The struggle with coming out to one’s own self is tumultuous enough without strangers imposing the thwarted ideology and philosophy of LOVE.  (I can’t call it theology because I’ve never heard Jesus preach against it or dine with a member of the community).

I think some are against homosexuality because the focus is on SEXuality.  Gay/lesbian love is more than blow jobs, rimming, and eating cherries.  After all, I’m talking about love, not lust.

Gay/lesbian love is about building relationships, intimate as well as casual.  Gay/lesbian love is not about planning the next erotic fiasco.  There are gay or lesbian or bisexual virgins just as there are virgin heterosexual men and women.  We are more than what is below the belt or resting on our chest. And we do not sleep with EVERYONE.

So how is this a sin?  Why the preoccupation with solely trying to convince others of their destiny?  Although I identify as a very open straight Trans* man, there is so much more to me.  I am Black.  I am a nurse.  I am a sibling.  I am a Minister.  I love R&B and Go-Go music.  I love writing poetry.  I love meditating by the water.  My favorite color is lavender.  I like bowling. I dance in and out of church and I occasionally cuss and fuss.

This is what makes me who I am and enhances me and a Trans* man.  God never told me I was a sinner when I was 25 and fell in love with a woman for the first time.  I know God set it up because I met her in church.

God never told me I was perverted, confused or had a room amongst the fire and brimstone when I wanted to personally mutilate my  breasts. (I thought only real men had pects and not breasts).

God never revealed anything about  being a freak, confused, or an unfit/illegitimate member of society.  God never revealed anything about an alternative destiny or current punishment for accepting my reality and living authentically.  So why are others greater experts about me than me?

Shouldn’t I know me better than others?  Haven’t I been the one who has been with me for almost 50 years? If you were sincerely concerned about my fate you would have preached to my ex-husband about pointing guns in my face and using me for his boxing lessons.   If you were sincerely concerned about my fate, you would have sent employment leads during the two years that I was unemployed.

If you cared about my fate you would have stood by mother’s hospice bed and held me as I watched her transition to eternal life and away from me.

If the Church honestly cared about and for the LGBT community, they would recognize that we are all a part of the Body of Christ.  The Church does not have the prerogative to pick and choose.  We are not choosing team mates for an elementary school game of game of dodge ball.  We are called to be one team that seeks out the lost and “least of these” and gives them greater.

I would hate to begin this new year in schism with the one place I go for safety and security when I feel alone, the Church. Rev. Burrell may have initiated this discussion through a selective and denigrating message of hopelessness but now it is time for God’s people to put a period at the end of that sentence.

The Church’s mission/commission is to honestly, totally, and compassionately preach and teach God’s Word to all.  If the Church is lucky, maybe they can convert one to heteroSEXUALITY (or NOT!)

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